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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28977360">Violent Musings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SuperM (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bathing/Washing, Blood, Blood and Gore, Dacryphilia, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dubious Consent, Gen, Human Experimentation, M/M, Men Crying, Mild Gore, Multi, Other, Puppy Play, Sadism, Surgery, Violence, let me know if I need to tag anything else</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:26:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28977360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>mark and kai stumble upon ten's diary. They didn't mean to see it, didn't mean to see his violent musings about each member. But they did and now Mark can't sleep. (not included are Baekhyun and Taemin) but I'll write theirs if ya comment on my work lmaoo. It goes without saying that this is a dark fic. Read at your own risk.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Kai &amp; Mark Lee, Kai and Mark are friends, Kim Jongin | Kai/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Kim Jongin | Kai/Mark Lee (NCT), Lee Taeyong/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Mark Lee &amp; Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Mark Lee/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Violent Musings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>on twitter with images @ domsyub</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They should have never seen Ten's diary or those images. It was almost a sick twist of fate that they were in such a rush and that Ten had asked them to get an envelope on his desk. Mark didn't mean to knock it down and they didn't mean to read the contents. At first. It's just that his handwriting draws attention and it drew them in... Kai and Mark can't help but gaze at it a little longer as Mark picks it up. At first, admiring Ten's talent and then wondering if he sent them up as a prank. They don't take too long looking at it because 1) he'll get suspicious and 2) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!</p><p>They exchange glances at each other after they're both equally horrified before going back down to the rest of the group as if nothing happened. It surprised Mark how well he could act but then again he wasn't an ace for nothing. And of course, Kai had acting experience which showed in his demeanor and personality with the group for the rest of the day. Something they were thankful for, that they could hide their fear and suspicions.</p><p>It's not until they get back and go for a walk together to a secluded area of the park that they finally exhale the strangeness of the situation, something they had held in all day around Ten and the others. They take turns opening their mouths and then closing them before Kai finally says "So that was fucked up." To which Mark nods and says "yeah" almost breathlessly.</p><p>Neither say anything after that for a while, both lost in thought, both wishing they could forget what they saw.</p><p>Did the page <em>have</em> to open on Ten's musings about Taeyong and the way he wants to fuck his head up so BADLY that he can't bathe himself and has to ask Ten, fully dependent on the younger? To where Taeyong is so dirty and filthy, that he begs Ten for a bath on his knees, tears streaming down his beautiful face. Only for Ten to cup that beautiful face in his hands and agree, helping Taeyong undress. The putrid scent getting stronger with each article of clothing he removed. Ten turning the hot water up so much it makes Taeyong cry. Cooing and soothing him while it burns. Then turning it down, comfortable, and stroking Taeyong's vulnerability to elicit a tear-stained mewl.</p><p>He drew it, the scene, the fear and pain. The steam and Taeyong's red skin burned ever so slightly by the heat of the water. Taeyong in the water, naked, head down bending into Ten's touch. He had drawn more. Another image of Taeyong struggling, trying to get out of the bath and ten cooing at him, shushing him to stay. The caption reading<em> "Hyung wants to be clean doesn't he?" "Hyung deserves to be clean."</em></p><p>Kai and Mark shudder at the thought.</p><p>They had turned the page wondering if it was a prank, that Ten sent them up to his room so he could shock them with whatever this was. But the next page deepened their fears...</p><p>The picture was Lucas tied down to a metal table like something you would see in an asylum or operating room. and Ten... god... Ten was experimenting on him. He had drawn himself in a lab coat and Lucas naked and crying, just like he had drawn Taeyong. Lucas' mouth was gagged, muscles flexing against his restraints. <em>"Be a good puppy Xuxi. Obey."</em> The word "obey" was bolded and underlined, manically written but still stylized. The caption read in that ever artistic way he wrote. Another drawing had Lucas on his knees, tongue out and tail wagging. It seemed tame compared to the others until Mark realized that it wasn't an anal plug tail but that Ten's imagination had MADE Lucas into an actual puppy through corrective surgery and had sewn on a tail to make him into this adorable puppy who barked and whimpered for Ten. There was a gentleness as Ten pet and pampered his puppy and neither was sure if this made it better or worse.</p><p>It was the operation of it all that turned their stomachs.</p><p>Their biggest regret was turning the page... they should have known Mark would be next on Ten's list. The pages seemed to go in order of leader/age.</p><p><span class="css-901oao css-16my406 r-poiln3 r-bcqeeo r-qvutc0">Mark barely got a moment's glance at it before Kai ripped the diary away, shook his head repeating "<em>no no no</em>." Kai looked at it a moment longer and said "it's better if you don't know." The only thing mark could make out was the color red covering almost the entirety of the pages. </span> <span class="css-901oao css-16my406 r-poiln3 r-bcqeeo r-qvutc0">His imagination and musings for Mark were meant to be bloody, violent. </span> <span class="css-901oao css-16my406 r-poiln3 r-bcqeeo r-qvutc0">His regret wasn't the violence but the way not knowing played with his mind. It was worse to not know.</span></p><p>"Tell me, hyung. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight unless I know..."</p><p>Kai wasn't looking at Mark. He was looking on, beyond the field, staring and searching into the quiet night for what Mark could only guess was peace of mind. Or maybe an answer about the beautiful boy with the beaming smile that wanted to harm all of them in elaborate, sadistic ways. An answer neither of them really wanted to know.</p><p></p><div class="css-1dbjc4n">
  <p></p>
  <div class="css-901oao r-jwli3a r-1qd0xha r-a023e6 r-16dba41 r-ad9z0x r-bcqeeo r-bnwqim r-qvutc0">
    <p>Kai took a breath. exhaled. "You won't be able to sleep tonight unless you know?"</p>
    <p>Mark shook his head. He had to know. He would have pictured a thousand things worse than the reality; he's sure of it. "It's better to know."</p>
    <p>"You won't be able to sleep tonight if you <em>do</em> know. But... I'll tell you." He paused and sighed, hands rubbing tired eyes. It seemed like a nightmare. It wasn't just the drawings. It was the elaborate thought behind them. It was one of their members, one of their friends who had spent so much time thinking of ways to hurt them, ways to make them cry and beg for him.</p>
    <p>It was the knowledge that their friend isn't stable and that maybe they aren't safe. Especially Mark. "You can sleep in hyung's room tonight. I'll lock the door. And then... we'll take the drawings to the rest of the group tomorrow. They have to know. It's the only way to keep all of us safe. And..." He trails off again, looking further into the distance than his eyes could see.</p>
    <p>Mark picks up where Kai had trailed off. "And we'll get Ten hyung some help?"</p>
    <p>Kai doesn't say anything, just nods before turning to Mark to finally tell him what Ten had imagined doing to their youngest. It was going to be a long night.</p>
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